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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?